Fate Doesn't Matter
This is the third and final installation of the Doesn’t Matter trilogy. It is preceded by Fear Doesn't Matter. The characters in this story that have pages are: Whalesong, Rocky, and Sparkstriker. Credit to Solstice for the title, and Polaris. Alcohol and suicidal thoughts warning. 'Last Introduction:' So, here we are again, dear reader. Scroll number three. The last one might have left you a bit shocked. I bet there might have been some, "Oh no!" or "How could this happen?", possibly with "Is this story gonna have a happy ending?" If so, then I am mildly surprised. If you recall from the first introduction, I stated quite bluntly that I do not have that much longer to live. I figured that might have clued you in some bit. Either way, I am impressed with how you've persevered to this final scroll. Hopefully it is because you want to and not because you are being forced to (you know how some teachers can be). Even though this is growing tiring, I shall give you once again another quick summary of what we've written: I grew to know my friend Rocky more and more, which was evidently a terrible mistake on my part. I fell in love with the sweetie, and now I'm expecting a dragonet because of it. Meaning that I am going to die sooner than I'd imagined. The student Sparkstriker tried to manipulate me, as a way of getting revenge for him being beat up all his life. 'Cause apparently that's all my fault. You know, since I was the reason that Mother left Father, and that's why Father went mentally downhill and became careless about his family. Yada yada ya. I'm so evil. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, Striker's my brother now. Yeah, I know, gross. Well, I hope that was useful! I'm going to start now with the help of my very good friend here. Say hi! (Writer: Hi. Save me. I beg y— Okay, ready to see what happens next? Even I'm not entirely sure yet. After all, I am still alive. Right? 'Chapter Seventeen: Family' "Well, half-brother, I should say," Sparkstriker corrected himself. He tapped his chin with one claw thoughtfully. "So, sister? What do you have to say?" I couldn't think of what to say. He could have been lying. Easily. Right? There's no way that this NightWing brat could possibly be my half-brother. There must have been some other reason why he knew so much about my history. He sighed lightly. "I knew you were going to react this way. Disbelief in your own family member. How could you?" he said with mock hurt, placing his right talon over his heart. I scoffed. "Well, why don't you completely convince me first? Why should I believe you, a liar and a sneak, when my trustworthy great-grandfather gave me real information? Huh?" He shook his head at my "incompetence". "Is it really that hard to believe? That your mother, a troublemaker, lied to her grandfather to at least make it seem like she hadn't fallen in love with a dragon from another tribe? He had a prejudice outlook towards that stuff, didn't he?" I hesitated. Now that he mentioned it, I did remember Reef talking about such subjects as interbreeding tribes. I vaguely recalled that he did not like the idea of it. "I suppose," I reluctantly admitted. "Look, Whale, you're not stupid," Striker said, clearly beginning to lose patience. His dark green gaze held mine with a stiff seriousness that was not to be questioned. "Look at the facts. The hints. How else would I know all this? How else could I know your mother's identity when you never even mutter her name to yourself?" I wanted to snap a quip, respond with something clever that would prove him obviously wrong. But my mind came up hopelessly empty. It seemed so impossible, so inconceivable, that I could barely believe it. If belief is what one would call it. Sparkstriker, my half-brother? Sparkstriker?! "You must have come to the undeniable and inevitable conclusion," Striker said heavily. A smile creased his face, and it shockingly appeared to be sad and sympathetic. He rubbed the spot between his eyes, which I suspected was a technique for avoiding looking at me. "Listen Whale, why on Pyrrhia would I lie to you about this? Doesn't it all fit now? How else can you explain my vast knowledge and dislike of you? Please believe me, Whale. Too many dragons have turned me away. And this time, I'm not tricking you." My eyes narrowed. "Swear it?" (Hey, what would you have said, huh?) He inclined his head solemnly. "I swear on your daughter's life," he promised, mischief hiding behind his serious expression and voice. I growled quietly. His words hit hard, and he knew it. "You know, for my so-called brother, you're exceptionally mean," I observed, making sure to pour every iota of hurt I was feeling into my voice. Scratch anything else I'd wanted to do first had I become normal; a punch to Sparkstriker's face was now at the top of the list. Striker shrugged his black shoulders almost casually. He made no indication that he'd registered my sadness. "I've seen mean. This is nothing. I want you to suffer like I have. If your stupid mother hadn't left Omen, I wouldn't be here, and simply having no life would be better than this life. We have more in common than you think, petite girl." Hot rage boiled in my bones, my fists clenching and tail whipping dangerously. Sparkstriker can lie to me, spy on me, and mock me, but he can not, and I mean CAN NOT, call my mother stupid. Never. "Y-you . . . How dare you," I hissed with so much fury I was surprised he didn't run away shrieking. "M-my mother, was many things, but stupid is not one of them. You are so lucky I'm still a ghost. Otherwise, you might be missing a limb or two." "Ooooo, I'm so scared," he taunted, gasping dramatically. "And you say I'm the bad sibling." My right eye twitched. "I want to kill you." "Oh I know," he assured me with a smug grin. "Don't worry; that'll pass soon when I help you with pain." My anger dissipated a little to be replaced by confusion. "What? What pain?" He waved a dismissive talon. "Later. What else do you want to know? I don't want to get in too much trouble by skipping more than one class." I glared at his dumb face. I would have to continue interrogating him another time. After a minute or two. "Did you say our father's name is Omen? WAIT." I abruptly cut myself off, realizing something that made me feel stupid. My father is alive. Sparkstriker read my face clearly. He nodded. "Yes, he's alive. Unfortunately." A flicker of genuine strong fear crossed his expression. Under different circumstances, I would have been bouncing off the walls with excitement. Yay! My dad is alive after all! Now I can find him and we'll be a happy family like we should've been! Problems solved! Nope. Instead, not only did I learn my father was alive, I also discovered he was a total jerk. A careless husband and abusive father. I couldn't imagine my mom falling for a dragon apparently capable of those sins. Could it all be true? Was my dad a terrible dragon? Had he always been a terrible dragon, or had his heartbreak morphed him into Striker's described monster? I had to trust in the latter. I refused to believe my parent (or parents) were awful. I had a feeling in my soul that simply knew Mother had fallen in love with a good-hearted guy. It was Mother's disappearance that had made him the way he is now, I just knew it. The real question was this: Did I really want to see him? Yes . . . and no. I didn’t want my dreams of my father to be crushed by meeting him and seeing his cruelty for myself. But what if I died, knowing my father was alive, and never got to see him? Which option could I live with? “Where does he live?” I inquired, not looking at Sparkstriker. I heard Striker gulp. He answered carefully, “He moves around sometimes, but most often he stays in a tiny house just a little ways away from the biggest NightWing village in the Rainforest Kingdom.” I've seen the Rainforest Kingdom on maps before, but have yet to journey there. It would probably be easy for a ghost to sneak around in there, but I wouldn't want to go alone. I wasn't that desperate yet. "When was the last time you saw him?" I asked curiously. He glanced at the doorway as he replied, "It's been a lengthy amount of time, thankfully. Several months maybe? Nearing a year? But trust me, you don't want to meet him. You'll regret it. Better to just forget about it." I squinted at him, suspicious of what he was trying to pull. He'd just admitted to manipulating Rocky by telling him what not to do. Was he attempting the same with me? He merely chuckled quietly at me, shaking his head. "Do what you will with my advice. Heed it or not, you're in trouble, and whatever I say makes no difference anymore. Fun chat." He stood up and strutted over to the exit, not looking back at me when he said, "Talk to you later, sis." The NightWing strolled cheerily out of the cave, humming to himself. A few seconds later, Sunny came back in, eyeing the path Striker took on the way out. She turned her gaze to me when I didn't say anything. I was staring off into another world, wishing I could ignore everything. Leave everything and everyone behind. I didn't want to discuss anything with Sunny, no matter how nice she was to me. I wanted to lose all consciousness and simply forget, like Sparkstriker had advised. Sleep wouldn't help; my nightmares had the potential to be worse than my reality. Was there no escape? "How are you doing, hon?" I was drawn back to focus by the simplicity and care of the question. All the crushing information I'd received within the last hour seemed to finally had built up in me at an unbearable level, the pressure about to make my sanity burst. I had . . . to hold it in . . . If I didn't, I'd never be able to stop . . . I had . . . to stay . . . strong. . . . For who? Mom? Dead. Dad? Lost cause. Rocky? . . . Rocky? Oh, Rocky. The pressure burst at last, releasing all my sadness and horror and sobs in one forceful, brutal wave. I channelled all my pent-up agony through the gracious tears, letting myself crumble on the inside and out. My talons reached to clutch my throat, squeezing harder than I've ever squeezed before. The throttling halted my sobs, but despite how hard I tightened my grip, my life didn't cease. The pain didn't stop. Everything continued, stomping mercilessly over my heart. But I kept squeezing. "Stop!" Sunny ordered in vain. "This doesn't help you, Whale! Please, just, calm down and think!" "Think about what?" I demanded, my voice raspy and cracking since I released my death grip. "About how I'm a terrible dragon?! About h-how I betrayed my family?! About me not being able to give my baby a happy life?! About there always being a cost f-for love?! WHAT, Sunny? What is there to th-think about? Huh?!" Sunny was silent. I hiccupped and sniffed. "That's what I thought," I wheezed. "Whalesong," she began, searching for healing words that didn't exist. After a significant pause, she ventured, "Who do you care about most in this world?" Rocky, I almost answered, but I didn't want to appear even more desperate than I already did. In place, I muttered shakily, "I-I don't know." "Well, say your mother were here. Do you think she'd want to see you like this?" That made me hesitate. I pictured my mother the way Reef had described her, looking almost exactly like me, but taller and with less dreamy eyes. He'd detailed her energy and beauty and clumsiness, noting that I was much more graceful than she'd been. She'd possessed the most undignified snort-like laugh, and when she cried, Reef had said that it seemed the world had lost all goodness, it was so painful to watch. Would I want Mother to see me like this? I didn't stand up, but I uncovered myself with my wings and just laid on my side, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I gave another sniff and rubbed my slick face with my talons, gradually gaining some control over my sadness and fear. My body was facing Sunny, but I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze. My tail was curled up near my stomach, barely quivering. Like I said: gradual. Sunny exhaled a breath she must have been holding in. "Okay, we're getting somewhere," she said warily, like saying those words would make me start sobbing again. I closed my eyes wearily. I didn't say anything, but my left talon drifted down to rest on my abdomen. Oh, we're getting somewhere, I thought wryly. Is that somewhere good? "Is there anything you want to talk about?" she asked gently. "Or do you want some alone time?" I shrugged helplessly, still ignoring her face. The cave was losing its sharpness again, details becoming more and more blurred. "I don't know," I whispered, almost soundlessly. “How about we talk, okay?” she decided with much uncertainty. “How do you feel right now, physically?” I frowned, glancing fleetingly at my wings and torso. I searched for what you couldn’t see, anything inside me that was physically wrong or abnormal. Then I suddenly remembered the night before, when I’d woken up for the third time, and thought it was another dream because of the discomfort I’d felt. I’d forgotten about that after my long talk with Rocky. It couldn’t have been a coincidence; it must’ve been some side effect to the egg or something. I never felt any physical wrongness. How had I not seen that? I didn't want to get distracted. Or maybe I did; I wasn't sure which one sounded better. I replied, "Fine right now." She nodded, clearly trying to be optimistic. As usual. "So, you're fine right now. There is nothing to be scared of right now. See?" Barely a second after she spoke those words, The walking incarnation of my hope stepped into the entryway, looking like his normal, cheery, goofy self. He glanced between Sunny and I uncertainly, immediately sensing the tension in the air. He smiled awkwardly, addressing both of us with: "Hey, what's up?" For some totally unknown reason, my throat constricted so tight I made a choking noise, and I'm pretty sure my eyes bugged out. In an abrupt panic, I scrambled to my feet and, giving neither dragons a chance to utter a protest, escaped through the wall opposite the entrance. I can't tell him. 'Chapter Eighteen: The Wall' I hid outside of Jade Mountain until the sun crept down to the horizon, a half-circle of brilliant gold that covered the land in a blanket of the same glowing, calming color. The sky was a beautiful gradient of yellows and oranges and pinks and purples, from the setting sun to the rising moons. The gradual transition was gorgeous. It was mocking. So pure in comparison to my situation, and knowing it. I was crouching, my body inside the mountain where it meets the ground, but my head sticking out. Watching the sunset to my left, I shook my pale head silently. Why was I doing this? Why was I waiting to go back? You need to leave. For the first time, I couldn't tell if that was my Second-thoughts or my other thoughts. Or maybe both. There's no reason for you to stay anymore. You're already doomed. Why not be considerate and save them some loss? It must have been Second-thoughts, since I was feeling slightly in disagreement. Nothing more conflicting than arguing with yourself. I turned away from the remaining sliver of sun and trained my hollow eyes on the shining blades of grass nearby. That's exactly what Mother did. Did that do her any good? Or Father? No. It made him terrible. What if that happens to Rocky? You really think he loves you that much? I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my talons. . . . No. I don't see how anyone can. But he does like me. Like is not love. Get your head on straight. I growled lowly. This is idiotic. I'm wasting away down here. I should at least get back to tell Sunny I want to leave. But do I really want to leave? I sighed, leaping into flight without much care of being stealthy. I assumed the evening air was chill and crisp, had I been able to feel it. The only thing I did feel was the slightest discomfort whenever I suddenly lurched in flight. The smoother I flew, the less upset my abdomen was. It was better than feeling nothing, I supposed. I'd been trying to familiarize myself with certain parts of the mountain recently, so from my aerial view of the eastern face of the mountain, I had a pretty good guess where Sunny's cave was. I flew down carefully, spotting no dragons wandering about anywhere in sight. Once I reached the stone, I submerged myself in it, first my front talons, then my head, then the rest of me. It was always a comfort, being somewhere you knew no one could see you. That might be the only fact I've ever liked about being a ghost. It's difficult to explain what it's like to move through solid structures and objects. I won't bother going into too much detail, but I will say that no, I don't have to fly through the mountain, I can walk without falling. Yes, it's weird and doesn't make sense, but honestly, what about me does? The first opening I entered was a hallway, one that must have been close to Sunny's room. But it wasn't empty. "There you are! I came back to wait for you after a few more classes, but you never came! Nobody will tell me anything! What's wrong?" I physically and mentally winced. Oh, come on. Really? The one dragon I needed to avoid? REALLY? Rocky stood up from his place beside the entrance to Sunny's cave. He approached me quickly, almost as though he were afraid I was going to flee again. Which was a logical fear, since I did just that. I whipped around and merged myself with the stone I'd just emerged from. I didn't even bother replying; I simply ran away. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. Actually, I didn't think I would ever be ready to talk to him. Was that an option? "Wait!" he called after me, but it was severely muffled by the rock barrier between us. I glanced over my shoulder, feeling extremely guilty, but there was no chance I was going to face him. Yet. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, but for now I desired to stay far, FAR away from him. Mostly for selfish reasons, but also for him. I didn't know how he'd react if he found out I was going to die partly because of himself. Hurting him was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I'm pretty sure he was he sweetest guy ever, only making matters worse. I stood rigid in the wall, resting in empty silence. There was no muffled noise whatsoever, not even talonsteps. He was just standing there, waiting for me to come out. I would've heard the tiniest something otherwise. "Oh," I whispered softly, lifting a talon up like I would if I were placing it on a solid surface. I closed my eyes, lowered my head, and made an almost inaudible keening noise. He was waiting for me. He believed in me. He thought I was worth something. He was the reason I was going to die. But I loved him anyway. I guess that was the problem, wasn't it? I'm not sure how long I was frozen in that position, not wanting to let him go. He must have been doing the same, remaining vigilant on the other side of the wall. Why would he wait for me for so long, though? He couldn't care for me the way I cared for him, however much I wished it so. Let him go, Whale, Second-thoughts said gently. I shook my head obstinately, a tear streaming from each eye. I don't want to. I can't. It would be wrong. So wrong. Which is why, I refuse, to say goodbye. "Hello?" I couldn't help whispering as I stuck my head into Sunny's room from the back wall. Rocky had finally left the hallway a few minutes ago. __NOWYSIWYG__ Category:Fanfictions Category:Content (MistydaAwesomeSeaWing) Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete) Category:Genre (Romance) Category:Genre (Tragedy) Category:Fanfictions (Semi-Canon)